You Choose the Ending

I sit next to someone in choir who is constantly making disparaging, personal and audible remarks about the other singers. Our seats are assigned, so I can't switch.

What should I do?

A. Send her an email (seems a bit passive aggressive)

B. Respond to the next crazy comment she makes (I don't want to seem like the crazy person!)

C. Talk to the conductor about switching seats (Seems overly-dramatic)

D. Put super glue on her chair

You choose the ending!

Doing More with Cal

I had a great day with Cal today. I know that may seem like a benign comment, but it represents a huge triumph to me. Lately, I haven't been feeling like a great mom.

Doing something fun and simple together, not worrying about the mess or the time -- I've got to figure out a way to do things like this more often.

I love this little guy:

Something for Me

Inspired by several friends and relatives, I decided to take a chance a few weeks ago and audition for a local symphonic choir. I was really nervous about the audition: it has been a long time since I've performed any of my art songs--I had to flip through my music books, looking for pencil markings, in order to remember which songs I even knew! I found one I use to be pretty comfortable with, polished it up, and auditioned. Even with the nervousness, it felt so wonderful to be engaging in something that I used to love: performing music.

The director offered me a position in the choir right there at the end of my audition, and I took it. You're looking at (or I guess, reading the words of) the newest soprano of the Symphony Silicon Valley Chorale! Check out the website here: http://www.symphonysiliconvalley.org/SSVchorale.php

It's the perfect outlet for me: practices are once a week on Tuesday night, and we have about one performance per month. That is a schedule I can readily commit to. Also, we perform with Symphony Silicon Valley in the historic California Theatre, which adds a little coolness factor to the whole thing.

Anyway, I'm excited about this new project. It feels like one more way to keep my stay-at-home mind fresh, challenged and happy.

Moment of Truth

I am about to do something very scary.

I'm currently doing the last proof-read of my book, and then I'm publishing it on the Amazon kindle. I'm really excited about it, but it's interesting to me that some of the things I'm most looking forward to are also some of the things that scare me the most:

1. The project will be finished. No more proof-reading and editing and restructuring and workshopping, etc. I'll be so happy to be done, but it also means that any mistakes I've made, or problems with the structure of the book will be there forever.

2. I'll finally get to work on marketing the book. Right now, that sounds fun and exciting, but what if I hit wall after wall?

3. I'll get to hear what people really think of my writing. Pure, untempered criticism. Exciting, but very, very terrifying.

I'm so excited to get this book on the kindle! I'll be sure to announce once it's there!

Moving with a Toddler

Firstly, I don't recommend moving with a toddler.

About 2 months ago, our apartment management informed us that they'd be raising our rent $500. Needless to say, we did not renew our lease.

Our kitchen, all packed up.

It couldn't have been worse timing. Reed was leaving in a few days for India (business trip), and I slowly started realizing that I'd have to move us into our new apartment by myself.

Well, not exactly by myself...

This little guy was with me every step of the way

I don't think there are words to describe how glad I am that the move is over. I'm so grateful to my mom for flying in to save me, and for the friends we've made here in the ward, who came over to help. I couldn't have done it without the people who came and helped me.

Here is a quick shot of the new place, just the furniture:

When I have things a little neater, I'll post better pictures. But for the most part, everything is cleaned up and unpacked and put away now. Yay for moms!

It's less expensive here, and the kitchen is bigger and nicer. It feels like we have more space, higher ceilings, better air conditioner, nicer bedrooms...the list goes on. I'm not excited about coin-op laundry (even if it is on-site), but for $500 a month? I'll drag my stuff down once a week and do it!

And my little helper seems to like it here, too:

Goals: How am I doing?

I decided to look at some of the goals I've made this year, and check my progress...which isn't very good...

1. Play the Hymns: I've been working on "Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me" and "We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet" -- neither are perfected, though. This is hard without a piano, but I do have a little midi keyboard that I am perfectly capable of setting up any time I like.

2. Read/Study Preach my Gospel: This has fizzled, but I don't want it to.

3. Train for Races: Just finished the Giant Half Marathon in August, and I'm proud of myself! More so because I actually trained. I'm still running about every other day, and I have my Ragnar race coming up in a week!

4. Write in my Journal: It's still not great, but I feel like I am journaling more often than I was. It's such a positive form of self-reflection, I really don't know why I don't make more time for it!

So I guess my grades for the above would be, respectively: B-, F, A, B. C'mon, self! You can do better than that!

Inspiration vs Competition

I've recently reconnected with a friend from high school. It's funny when that happens, because inevitably, you're forced to have the awkward "hey, how have the last ten years been treating you?" conversation. As I've had more and more re-connections with her, I've realized that the things that made me want to be her friend in high school are still there, and I want to be her friend again! :) I don't know why it would surprise me so much, but it does. I know that friendships go through different stages, and that they enter and leave your life for different reasons -- many of which are not malicious at all -- but it is unexpected. It's like up here in SJ, when I'm driving, I run into the 85 all over the place. It kind of snakes around, so you can run into it twice on the same road. That's what I feel like has happened with this friend. I got off the 85, drove around for a bit, and then got on at another cross street.

I've been reading a lot about her life, and it has inspired me to do some things. She recently tried out for a play, and obviously made it bc she's super talented. I thought about that for a long time, not out of jealousy, but pure admiration. That another stay-at-home-mom could just go out and grab the things she wanted in such a simple way was very validating and justifying to me. So I did a google search for a choir, found one, and auditioned. Not because I want to compete with this friend, but because her actions made me believe I could do something cool. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? ....right???

But I can't shake the feeling that sometimes, my form of "flattery" is just obnoxious. I'm surrounded by a lot of awesome, capable friends who know how to reach for the things they want. I feel like I am constantly thinking, "WOW. I should try to do that!" But, is that stealing someone's thunder? I consider it being inspired, but is it actually just annoying?